So I guess this is a vent of sorts.
this is JM's top 16 things to NOT do on facebook: (not in any particular order)
16- More then 20 shares in 15 minutes.
- Bare with me here...my newsfeed is updated every few minutes so please don't bombard me with your beliefs via someone else's page. Remember- great minds don't think alike, they think on their own terms. Then express that mind as such. Then remember that some people WILL disagree- it's facebook, not "everyone agrees with mebook."
15- Complaining passive aggressively
- Alright anyone who "hates drama" get this- when you post something like "my fucking god! I hate how some people are fucking talking shit!" .....Yeah..you are attention seeking whore. People are smart, we know how to read between lines and those who "support you" are just feeding off your stupidity....go back to myspace you twat.
14- stop....the fucking....'causes'
-I am not sorry but I will NEVER like/share/spread awareness for animal abuse, child abuse, rape, breast cancer, etc. clicking the like button, share button or saying you support it..DOES NOT MAKE IT GO AWAY. It makes you a fucking prick, hipster or two faced pussy ass bitch. You really want to "support the cause" ? then get off facebook and go fucking do something about it. Till then, don't piss and moan because I called you out via a comment.
13- stop posting a billion pictures of your kid
- you wanna know why "pedophiles stalk facebook"? because when you are going about posting little timmy's first bath...that pedofile in your friends list found it and is busy jerking off with his cat to them. You are a parent, stop providing a STEP BY STEP guide to your kids innocence. Not to mention 20-30 years ago, if we had facebook, you'd be SHOOTING your parents for doing it with YOUR pictures...do your kids a solid and just upload those cleavage shots, ab pics and gangster signs...they'll be able to claim they were adopted easier that way when they hit high school.
12- don't post EVERYTHING you do.
-"Eric just bought a coke and some chips bitchen!"
.....unfriended.....
11- Relationships Status
- Girls -> if you are "married" to your bff...don't get pissed when guys think your up for threesomes.
- Guys - > if you go from "in a relationship" to "single" and back to a relationship more then 3 times in less then a 6 month period...I am gonna tell women I introduce you to, that you're a man whore with STDs...girls don't want to know a player who is proud of it...and going about facebook with that shit is a vegas fireworks display to your sex drive over commitment.
10- Add me = You wanna communicate with me
- I am not a number, a trophy add, or a random memory. If you added me on facebook and I realize you have 200-400 friends. Expect me to unfriend you...you won't talk to me, you won't remember I was added, hell you probably won't see this newsfeed about your stupid ass talking shit about your best friend for sleeping around. Do yourself a favor and cut your friend list down to REAL friends...Family and maybe coworkers...not EVERYONE you've bumped uglies with on the sidewalk.
9- Grammar-
- I really can't stress this. When you talk to me, you speak English. Right? Do me a FAVOR and write English too. I don't need to go online after hanging out with you and reading "YO yo yo dawg, just had a mad chill time with my biznitch hommie. Niggas fur lifeeeeeeee....."
If you do that OR typ3 lyk ths....
unfriended
8- Tagging
I used to be guilty of this and I apologize for it. But please stop tagging your friends in stupid shit like those "everyone has this friend" meme....they are annoying and they fill up your wall/notifications/etc...just do your friends a favor and have them tag themselves.
7- "Hit like if..."
You attention seeking puss....I swear I could burn a childrens hospital down if I saw enough of these "like if your missing someone right now." statuses...I swear just tell them you miss them...OR go see them...or SOMETHING don't sit on facebook and wallow in misery.
6- Abusing the like button
- If I come home from a weekend away and find that you have liked ALL my statuses, photos and such in the PAST week....I'm callin the FBI...you a stalker bitch.
5- Pictures of your dining choices.
- no one cares that you're eating at dennys. ok maybe those bacon addicts do but you know what, showing them your plate of dennys bacon just reminds them you have money, time on your hands and are obviously an ass hole for going "ha ha to you- I went to eat and didn't invite you...FRIEND!"
4- game requests
- ok I play SOME facebook games..and I only send invites to people A- who play the game (neighbors) OR people who I think might play the game (After asking them) please do not send me 100 requests after I don't acknowledge the first 200.
3- hating on facebook.
-you are on facebook...all the time....liking statuses...commenting pictures...you really don't hate it...you hate your lack of real friends or a life...get out of the basement and get laid.
2- hypocrisy
- you are aware that because of the ticker now...we see everything you comment, like, share, etc no more being two faced liar huh?
1- over bearing family
- if I live with you. See you more then half the month OR don't see you more then 5 times every 10 years because we are estranged? DON'T ADD ME
-if I add you, don't comment, like, share, EVERYTHING I do....it's creepy.
- like myspace...this is MY facebook...you might be family but my opinions ARE eventually going to offend, bother, disagree with yours....when your kid says profanity on facebook and it isn't directed at you....don't comment on it saying to watch their mouth...you should see their sex life before hand you'll be more concerned about something other then ...well ok no their mouth will still be a problem.
so yeah comment on here if you have some things you don't like seeing on facebook. or comment on things you think I should do for another top 16 list.
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